Obama Discovers Mysterious 'Third Branch' Of Government April 3, 2012

WASHINGTON—The Obama Administration is reporting that it has recently discovered a hitherto unknown "third branch" of the United States federal government - the judicial branch.

Speaking at a press conference earlier today, Assistant Deputy Secretary of the Interior Matt Wabash expressed his astonishment at the discovery. "We had no idea that this branch even existed. The concept caught us totally off guard."

Wabash went on to explain that, at first, Obama Administration officials believed that our system of government is much like that of the British Parliament, where a bill automatically becomes law once a majority of MPs vote in favor of it.

"Then some 8th grader came along and told us that the President had to sign the bill once it passed Congress," Wabash continued. "We were like, 'What?' Then somebody else showed us some old 'Schoolhouse Rock' cartoon about a bill becoming law. That helped us to understand things much better. Especially Vice President Biden."

Wabash explained that they were pretty giddy at the moment that President Obama signed the Affordable Care Act into law. Administration officials were high-fiving each other and assuming that it was definitely a done deal.

"Then somebody told us about 'judicial review'," Wabash went on. "And we believed then, and continue to believe, that those are two words that should never be used in the same sentence."

Wabash then made it clear that no one in the Administration even knew that that there was a third branch of government. "And who is this Marbury guy? And what does he have to do with this crap?" an exasperated Wabash asked the Washington press corps.

"We're just hoping that we don't uncover a fourth branch," Wabash concluded.

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